360° Coverage : Western foods are scarily mis-labelled in Asia (The Funny Side)

1 Updates
Western foods are scarily mis-labelled in Asia (The Funny Side)
Photo Credit: PETER PARKS, Getty Images

Western foods are scarily mis-labelled in Asia (The Funny Side)

Aug 1 2013, 11:00pm CDT | by IANS

A host of exciting Western delicacies are being imported to Asia, exciting our palates and destroying our kitchens.

A host of exciting Western delicacies are being imported to Asia, exciting our palates and destroying our kitchens. Perhaps the most remarkable of these is the apple puff. This is some sort of...

Filed under: news

YouTube Videos

 
 
 

1 year ago

Western foods are scarily mis-labelled in Asia (The Funny Side)

Aug 1 2013, 11:00pm CDT | by IANS

A host of exciting Western delicacies are being imported to Asia, exciting our palates and destroying our kitchens.

A host of exciting Western delicacies are being imported to Asia, exciting our palates and destroying our kitchens.

Perhaps the most remarkable of these is the apple puff. This is some sort of innocent-looking pastry item that recently appeared in the frozen section of my supermarket. Actually, the air-conditioning is so high the entire supermarket is now the frozen section. I'm convinced this is a trick to make us buy more. Unless I spend each visit sprinting along the aisles with a massively over-loaded shopping trolley, I risk death by hypothermia.

Shortly before writing this, I arrived breathless at the cashier's counter to discover that I had snatched up a pack of 12 mini apple puffs imported from Australia. The instructions said: "Using high energy setting on microwave, heat frozen pastries for five minutes."

I slipped a couple into the machine, and while waiting for them to warm, I recalled the previous Western delicacy I had tried: a Scottish dish called porridge.

The instructions for that dish told me to place the rolled oats in hot water and heat for three to five minutes on the stove. I did that. Five minutes later, I ended up with a pile of rolled oats at the bottom of a pan of hot water.

I phoned a European friend who is a good cook. "What is porridge supposed to look like," I asked.

"Like a human brain on a dish," she said.

"That sounds yummy," I lied. She lived nearby, so came over to investigate. She told me my oats were still raw. This confirmed what I have always believed, that instructions on food packets were normally wildly inaccurate. She halved the water and quadrupled the cooking time and soon produced something that looked remarkably like a bowl of congealed mucus.

But it didn't taste as bad as it looked. It tasted much, much worse. "Are you sure one is supposed to eat this," I asked, my heart sinking. "It's not a type of glue?"

This memory was interrupted by the realization that the newly purchased apple puffs were also turning into an interesting experiment.

After one minute they started throbbing. At two minutes they collapsed. At three minutes they turned brown. At four minutes they turned black. At four-and-a-half minutes they burst into flames.

I phoned my Western friend. "What do apple puffs look like when they're cooked," I asked.

"The same as when they are raw, only golden and crispy."

I asked: "And what about the flames?"

"What flames?" she replied. I realized that I had once more been hit by the Wildly Inaccurate Instructions trick.

Now I realize that if I lived in America, I could sue the vendor of these items for almost burning down my kitchen. I could sue the store for extreme humiliation. I could sue Scotland itself for inventing a scary foodstuff.

But this is Asia, where the Silly Lawsuit, a sign of a sophisticated modern society, does not yet exist. Thank God.

I had rice for dinner.

(02.08.2013 - Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and comments via www.mjam.org)

IANS

Source: IANS

 

Don't miss ...

 

blog comments powered by Disqus

Latest stories

IS video shows beheading of second US journalist
Washington, Sep 2 (IANS) Days after the beheading of American photojournalist James Foley, Sunni militant group Islamic State (IS) has posted a video showing the beheading of another kidnapped American journalist Steven Sotloff, CNN reported.
 
 
IS beheads second US journalist
Washington, Sep 2 (IANS) The Islamic State militant organisation has posted a video titled "A second message to America", showing the beheading of American journalist Steven Sotloff, CNN reported.
 
 
India offers red carpet, not red tape, Modi hard sells India (Roundup)
Tokyo, Sep 2 (IANS) Prime Minister Narendra Modi Tuesday hard sold India to Japanese investors saying that his country offers only a red carpet and not red tape while dubbing his five-day trip to Japan that ends Wednesday as "very successful".
 
 
Fear grips onlookers as Ebola victim walks through market
Monrovia, Sep 2 (IANS) A video footage has emerged from Liberia showing a person tagged positive for Ebola virus disease (EVD) walking through a busy market, sending hundreds of horrified onlookers fleeing in fear, a media report said Tuesday.
 
 
 

Latest from the Network

11 killed in Pakistan building collapse
Islamabad, Sep 2 (IANS) At least 11 people, including women and children, were killed Tuesday when a roof of an old building collapsed in Pakistan, a media report said. As many as 18 people were wounded when a two-...
Read more on Politics Balla
 
Imran refuses to budge as parliament supports Pakistan PM (Roundup)
Islamabad, Sep 2 (IANS) Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) chairman Imran Khan refused to budge on his demand for Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's resignation Tuesday as a joint session of parliament came out overwhelmingly...
Read more on Politics Balla
 
IS video shows beheading of second US journalist
Washington, Sep 2 (IANS) Days after the beheading of American photojournalist James Foley, Sunni militant group Islamic State (IS) has posted a video showing the beheading of another kidnapped American journalist...
Read more on Ad Balla
 
Modi cites people's efforts for India-Japan strategic ties
Tokyo, Sep 2 (IANS) Prime Minister Narendra Modi Tuesday said India and Japan were now working as "special strategic and global" partners and this was the result of efforts of not just the two governments but because...
Read more on Politics Balla
 
IS beheads second US journalist
Washington, Sep 2 (IANS) The Islamic State militant organisation has posted a video titled "A second message to America", showing the beheading of American journalist Steven Sotloff, CNN reported. The video also...
Read more on Ad Balla
 
Rahane shines as India seal series in Edgbaston
Birmingham, Sep 2 (IANS) Ajinkya Rahane's maiden century and his century-run stand with Shikhar Dhawan powered India to a comprehensive nine-wicket win over England in the fourth ODI here Tuesday and also sealed the...
Read more on Sport Balla
 
India vs England: Scoreboard, fourth ODI
Birmingham, Sep 2 (IANS) The following is the final scoreboard of the fourth ODI between India and England at Edgbaston here Tuesday. England Alastair Cook c Raina b Kumar 9 Alex Hales b Kumar 6 Gary Ballance c Rahane...
Read more on Sport Balla
 
Britain asks citizens to review travel plans to Pakistan
Islamabad, Sep 2 (IANS) The British Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) has advised its citizens to review their planned trips to Pakistan in view of the volatile security situation in the country. "There is a high...
Read more on Politics Balla
 
Jaime King: Motherhood is all that matters
Jaime King says her son is the most important thing in her life now. The 'Sin City: A Dame to Kill For' star welcomed her first child James - her son with husband Kyle Newman - into the world last October and since she...
Read more on Celebrity Balla
 
Chris Brown pleads guilty to assault
Chris Brown has pleaded guilty to assault. The 'Beautiful People' hitmaker was sentenced to time already served by a judge after accepting a plea deal at a Washington DC superior court today (02.09.14), where he was...
Read more on Celebrity Balla