360° Coverage : How money and magic overlap in Asia (The Funny Side)

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How money and magic overlap in Asia (The Funny Side)

Dec 20 2013, 12:12am CST | by

ALWAYS AGREE QUICKLY with wacky, annoying people who accost you with irritating ideas. It usually makes them go away faster.

ALWAYS AGREE QUICKLY with wacky, annoying people who accost you with irritating ideas. It usually makes them go away faster. But not always. An accountant friend said to me the other day that she...

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36 weeks ago

How money and magic overlap in Asia (The Funny Side)

Dec 20 2013, 12:12am CST | by

ALWAYS AGREE QUICKLY with wacky, annoying people who accost you with irritating ideas. It usually makes them go away faster.

ALWAYS AGREE QUICKLY with wacky, annoying people who accost you with irritating ideas. It usually makes them go away faster.

But not always. An accountant friend said to me the other day that she had realized that her profession was actually a religion. "Of course!" I replied. "Stands to reason. Wow, look at the time. Shouldn't you be heading off to do something really important right now?"

Unfortunately nothing was more important than delivering me three items of proof for her assertion. Number one: yoga has become a dominant cultural practice in the world (there are now more aficionados of this Indian discipline in the US than Methodists and Presbyterians put together), and modern yoga was developed by an accountant. "Lahiri Mahasaya maintained that there was no separation between his day job as an accountant and his work as a yogi," she said.

Well, of course. Both are about sitting on your bottom for long periods, dealing with annoying people and trying not to fall asleep.

Her second piece of evidence was in her bag: a book on the philosophy of accountancy which said that accounting rules attempt to grow ethical corporations in the same way that religious codes attempt to grow ethical communities. "Accounting is coming to be understood as 'making' the very things it pretends to describe," author James Aho wrote. This was getting too deep for me.

Her third piece of evidence: historians recently translated ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics and discovered that the female deity Seshat is actually "the goddess of accountancy". Seshat wears a head piece with seven pointed studs and a leopard-skin dress. I seriously think this should be made compulsory uniform for all accountants, especially the guys.

After listening to this, I responded with the line which becomes second nature to all married men facing strong-minded women: "Yes, dear, I'm sure you're right."

But maybe she actually was. The following morning I was amazed to receive an email from a reader with a link to a news report about a "living god" in Nepal. Chanira Bajracharya, aged 15, had decided to retire from her role as the holy incarnation of a deity to rejoin normal humanity, it said. "I want to study accounting," she told reporters. The article added that she has been living a solitary life of study and contemplation and had no friends of her own age. Clearly, fate had prepared her for life as an accountant.

Money and magic overlap a lot in Asia. The guy who runs the Chinese funerary shop near my office, which sells paper replica products to burn ceremonially for your dead ancestors, has stocked up on paper iPads so that people can send Bitcoins to grandpa. I haven't been able to explain Bitcoins to myself, so have no hope of explaining it to grandpa's ghost.

Anyway, here's a beancounter joke. Q: "Did you hear about the accountant's prayer?" A: "Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 a.m."

And here's a rather topical "accountants are boring" joke: Q: "What do undertakers do to liven up their Christmas office parties? A: Invite an accountant."

In the end, I told my accountant friend that I would accept that her profession was a religion if she would wear for me the same costume as Seshat wore in ancient Egypt: a seven-pointed crown and a leopard-skin dress. Fingers crossed.

(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent flier. Send ideas and comments via www.mrjam.org)


Source: IANS


6 days ago

Women in Business - Kylie Stupka, Youth Entrepreneurs

Aug 26 2014 5:00am CDT | Source: Wichita Business Journal

An accountant by trade, Youth Entrepreneurs executive director Kylie Stupka is used to quantifiable outcomes. Now, she’s learned to shift the way she views success. Stupka was a CPA for BKD in Wichita for nine years. In that time, she advanced from staff to manager and worked closely with nonprofit clients. She served as director of finance and administration at the Greater Wichita Convention and Visitors Bureau. In 2007, she was offered t ...
Source: Wichita Business Journal   Full article at: Wichita Business Journal


1 week ago

India's e-commerce today is where China was in 2007: Rehan Yar Khan

Aug 20 2014 1:48pm CDT | Source: Business Standard

Rehan Yar Khan, a serial entrepreneur, has led 15 early-stage investments in various companies including Druva, Olacabs, Reach Accountant, Sapience, among others. Khan is a founding member of Indian Angel Network's (IAN) ...
Source: Business Standard   Full article at: Business Standard


1 week ago

Accountant pleads guilty to fraud charges

Aug 19 2014 7:54am CDT | Source: New Mexico Business Weekly

Jasonn Gonzales, 41, an accountant from Velarde, pleaded guilty Monday to federal charges connected to an attempt to defraud unemployment systems of $1.3 million. According to the U.S. Attorney’s office in Albuquerque, Gonzales, along with another defendant, filed false unemployment claims with the New Mexico Department of Workforce Solutions, the Texas Workforce Commission and the Colorado Department of Labor and Employment and received more than $800,000 from the agencies. G ...
Source: New Mexico Business Weekly   Full article at: New Mexico Business Weekly


2 weeks ago

Accounting Businesses Top List Of Money-Making Industries

Aug 17 2014 5:30am CDT | Source: Forbes Real Time

Few people know better than accountants what goes into a company’s bottom line. So it’s not too surprising that accounting and related fields top the list of the most profitable industries in the U.S.   Sageworks, a financial information company, recently found that accounting, tax preparatio ...
Source: Forbes Real Time   Full article at: Forbes Real Time


2 weeks ago

Syndicate Bank just the tip of Rs 8,000 crore scam

Aug 11 2014 11:27pm CDT | Source: Bridgeville Public Library

The breakthrough for the CBI was its arrest of Jain along with a chartered accountant called Pawan Bansal acting as middleman for deals between the Syndicate Bank chief and companies looking for lar ...
Source: Bridgeville Public Library   Full article at: Bridgeville Public Library


3 weeks ago

Constitutionally Challenged Co-defendant Does Not Create Mistrial For Tax Fraudster

Aug 11 2014 8:30am CDT | Source: Forbes Real Time

Accountant tries to blame IRS for his fraud scheme working and co-defendant for making him look bad to the jury. Conviction and 10 year senten ...
Source: Forbes Real Time   Full article at: Forbes Real Time


4 weeks ago

Crooked accountant stole £200k to splash on 'lavish' wedding including ring-bearing OWL

Aug 1 2014 10:02am CDT | Source: Daily Express

A CROOKED accountant stole almost £200,000 from her employers before splashing the cash on a "lavish and decadent" wedding - including a ring-bearing OWL and TWO wedd ...
Source: Daily Express   Full article at: Daily Express


4 weeks ago

Eccentric Scot leaves fortune to his old school

Jul 28 2014 6:02pm CDT | Source: Daily Express

AN eccentric Scottish accountant, who collected aristocratic titles as well as antique guns and watches, has gifted the bulk of a £4million fortune to his for ...
Source: Daily Express   Full article at: Daily Express


5 weeks ago

Did NQ Mobile Officially Fire PwC?

Jul 28 2014 2:31am CDT | Source: SeekingAlpha

By Milkweed:In Professor Gillis recent article he mentioned that (NYSE:NQ) would have to file a 6K announcing that they fired PwC and that PwC would have to respond to NQ's disclosure about the termination. When I've seen changes in auditors in the past, a letter from the auditor leaving is attached to the 8K or 6K filing that announced the change. The change in auditor took place on 7/18/14 and since we have yet to see PwC respond over a week after NQ put out a ...
Source: SeekingAlpha   Full article at: SeekingAlpha


5 weeks ago

Philip Seymour Hoffman Left Entire $35 Million To His Partner Because Didn't Want 'Trust Fund Kids'

Jul 23 2014 11:08am CDT | Source: Business Insider

Philip Seymour Hoffman wanted his kids to work for what they earn. That's why the late actor left his $35 million estate to his longtime partner and mother of his children, Mimi O'Donnell, instead of leaving any of the fortune to his three young kids, all under age 10, E! News reports. In documents obtained by E! News, Hoffman had told his former accountant that he "did not want his children to be considered 'trust fund' kids." Instead, Hoffman — who has said ...
Source: Business Insider   Full article at: Business Insider


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<a href="/latest_stories/all/all/27" rel="author">IANS</a>
The Indo-Asian News Service (IANS) was established in 1986, initially to serve as an information bridge between India and its thriving diaspora in North America. Today it is a full-fledged, 24 by 7 agencies putting out the real-time news from India, South Asia and news of interest to this region around the world.


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