10 Updates

Is Opting Out A Choice You'd Make?

Apr 2 2014, 4:34pm CDT | by

By Maria Gamb When Stephanie started out in business oh so many moons ago, she was just a bright-eyed 20-something full of hope and promise for the future. She headed straight to corporate America...

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16 weeks ago

Is Opting Out A Choice You'd Make?

Apr 2 2014, 4:34pm CDT | by

By Maria Gamb

When Stephanie started out in business oh so many moons ago, she was just a bright-eyed 20-something full of hope and promise for the future. She headed straight to corporate America ready to conquer the world.

It was an amazing career that’s for sure, one that afforded her the opportunity to work and live around the globe. Looking back on this time Stephanie, now in her late 40’s, has much more appreciation than regret, that’s for sure. “Maybe I’m just wiser now,” she laughs, despite the challenges she’s faced with some pretty strange forms of leadership over the years. Those examples served as a beacon of what she did not want to create for herself, her teams and the people she collaborated with. “I was pretty clear that some of the behaviors I witnessed were, shall we say, less than palatable. Any indication that I could fall into those roles or what I considered entrapments of being such an individual left me cold. I opted out from many opportunities for fear I could become just like them.”

Several years ago she started her own business. Entrepreneurship had a sexy lure with the promises of having lots of flextime, creating a schedule that worked for her life. However, that also meant a whole new set of challenges. Or, perhaps it meant some of the old ones resurfacing again.

Stephanie came to realize that in the process there was also one single nagging commonality in these two worlds that she and many others struggled with constantly. She wasn’t alone. It was another peek inside the choice many professionals are making: opting-out of advancing their careers and work. Much is made of women opting out to return to a traditional role, but this wasn’t about children.

Many types of businesses have similar dysfunctional leadership behaviors and business practices. Those situations have left many turned off completely and thinking, “Well, if that’s how I need to be in order to be successful then I’m out. I don’t want to be like them.” These same words are voiced time and again over the years by both men and women. They opt out.

However, what if the situation could be reframed? What if there was a way to see this as a course correction? Or even see this as a learning experience which delves into the real fear of a human being living in this imperfect world?

Insight #1  “Themness” Isn’t All There Is - When we limit ourselves by using the measure of “themness” which is often equated with being a wrongdoer, then we allow these entities too much power in our lives. We allow them to stop us before we even get going.

Insight #2  Be Willing to Show Up Regardless - If one stays in the shadows then there would never be more positive examples of how to be in business differently. Overcome the knee-jerk reaction to opt out. Take the first step, show up for yourself and see what happens. You might be surprised.

Insight #3  Get Real About the Self-Worth Aspect - This is the most important one. Who said you had to be like them? Why couldn’t you just be yourself? Furthermore, what the heck makes you think that being yourself isn’t right or enough? Believe that you can and do things differently.

You aren’t the only person who has faced this fear. For whatever it is that you don’t want to embody, or project, it’s your true self saying: “I want out of this box you put me in. Just let me be me and express myself in this world.” It’s just another form of trying to be a good girl, trapped in a box with someone else’s life and rules written on it.

null  Be a change agent. It sounds so simple yet it is challenging because we all fear judgment.

Rather than recoiling from being like others, be yourself. Trust that you are a different person than “them” and that as you step into your power you will not be destructive (fill in the blank). That’s not who you really are. Once you get this on a deep level you can move forward in your advancement. Make the decision not to opt out. Instead, be a game changer where you are now.

Is opting out a choice you’d make? I’d love to hear your comments.

Maria Gamb is the Amazon Top 10 best selling author of Healing the Corporate World . Website: www.MariaGamb.com Twitter: @mariagamb

 
Update
10

6 weeks ago

RM47mil KWSG contributions still unclaimed

Jun 9 2014 7:54am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

Cambodia's Famous Battambang Circus
KUALA LUMPUR: About RM47 million of contributions in the Teachers Provident Fund (KWSG) still remain unclaimed, the Dewa ...
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Update
9

6 weeks ago

Gold shop lost almost RM1mil

Jun 9 2014 3:50am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

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KANGAR: A gold shop owner lost almost RM1 million after after the safe on in his shop was broken into by robbers ...
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Update
8

6 weeks ago

Motion to debate MAS losses in Dewan Rakyat rejected

Jun 9 2014 3:39am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

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KUALA LUMPUR: AN emergency motion to debate the losses incurred by Malaysia Airlines last year, amounting to RM1.2 billion was rejected by the Dewan Raky ...
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Update
7

6 weeks ago

MH370 Tragedy: Hisham: RM27.6 mil spent on 1st phase of SAR

Jun 9 2014 2:11am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia spent some RM27.6 million in its first phase of the search operations for missing Malaysia Airline flight MH370, said Acting Transport Minister, Datuk ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
6

6 weeks ago

9.1m litres of diesel seized in a month

Jun 8 2014 1:11am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

INDIA-CHINA-DIPLOMACY-TRADE
PUTRAJAYA: The Domestic Trade, Cooperatives, and Consumerism ministry has seized some 9.1 million litres of diesel and property worth RM58 million since mounting ‘Operasi Diesel Selatan’ i ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
5

7 weeks ago

Girl, 9, awarded RM2.78m compensation for medical negligence

Jun 6 2014 4:56am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

Government Weekly Cabinet Meeting
KUALA LUMPUR: A nine-year-old girl who suffered brain damage during her birth at a government hospital was awarded over RM2.78 million in compensation. ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
4

7 weeks ago

Malaysia's total trade in April up 12pc

Jun 5 2014 11:52pm CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia's total trade in April 2014 rose by 12 per cent from a year ago to RM123.86 billion due to growing trading activities, International Trade and Industry Minister Datuk Seri Mustapa ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
3

7 weeks ago

Works Ministry to spend RM20m for upgrading works at 50 accident black spots

Jun 4 2014 11:35pm CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

Iskandar Johor Open - Previews
JOHOR BARU: The Works Ministry will implement upgrading works at 50 accident prone locations in the country that have been identified this year involving an allocation o ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
2

7 weeks ago

Najib launches loan scheme for Ramadan traders

Jun 4 2014 10:24pm CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

EurAsia Cup presented by DRB-HICOM - Day One
PUTRAJAYA: Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak today launches RM45 million Ramadan B ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 
Update
1

7 weeks ago

Residents bring up objection against Kidex to Suhakam

Jun 4 2014 4:49am CDT | Source: Business Times Malaysia

PETALING JAYA: A group of 20 Petaling Jaya residents held a meeting with the Human Rights Commission of Malaysia (Suhakam) over their objection against the proposed RM2.2 billion Kinrara Damansara Skywa ...
Source: Business Times Malaysia   Full article at: Business Times Malaysia
 

 

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